


Six Teenagers Walk into a Bar

by bellygunnr



Category: Rockman ZX | Mega Man ZX, Rockman | Mega Man - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff and Humor, No one has been sick before, Sickfic, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 23:02:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17734313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellygunnr/pseuds/bellygunnr
Summary: Aeolus falls sick and spills his chili while the others kidnap Grey and Ashe for help. Teamwork is not their strong suit.





	Six Teenagers Walk into a Bar

The meeting had been called for by the Master, but no one summoned was paying attention. There was a noticeable hole in their ranks-- Aeolus, biomatch and partner to Model H, was absent, an anomaly that could mean anything. Was he working? Had he overslept? Had he slept at all? Aeolus had never been absent before-- worse, Model H was gone! This caused a stirring even among the other Metals, though they were calmer than their human counterparts.

 

“Where do you think he is?” Atlas asked, her voice hushed but still the loudest.

“I heard he’s started a new show,” Thetis said slyly. He stuck his tongue out.

Siarnaq snorted into his scarf, muffling a chuckle at the imagined sight. Aeolus holed up in his room, in a bird’s nest of blankets and snacks, staring dead-eyed but rapt at his flickering television screen. 

_ Should we check on him? _ Model F slipped out of Atlas’ vest to ask this, gem winking.  _ Model H is in his room. _

A resounding boom shook the room. The gathered teenagers startled, grumbling as their attention was forced to the man they answered to. Aeolus’ absence was palpable, but they managed to ignore it.

“Enough! There are still things to be discussed, child or not. You lot can function without him, can’t you?”

There was a slow collection of nods. They could, but that didn’t mean they had to like.  _ Aeolus, please come back soon! _

“My mission for you all today… is teamwork. Learn how to work with each other. You all are far too greedy with your own goals. Understandable, considering your circumstances. I want you to find that pesky Grey and Ashe and bring them to me. Together. Alive.”

Silence fell over the group. What? Work as a team? Fetch the Silver Duo? Was that a good idea?

_ They’ll kill us! _ Thetis thought. _ Grey is as territorial as a dog! _

_ But Ashe really is friendly _ , Atlas hummed.  _ Maybe this won’t be so bad. _

“ **MISSION ACCEPTED** ,” Siarnaq chirped suddenly. “ **WE WILL NOT FAIL** .”

“Make sure that you don’t,” Master Albert said dangerously.

 

+

 

Aeolus… was suffering. His head pounded steadily, unendingly, with a gradually building pressure that made his eyes bug. Breathing was difficult, clogged as he was in the throat and nose, body attacked by instantaneous illness. His pager beeped at him with messages unread, though he was well aware that it was just alarms and reminders. Model H drifted lazily beside him but their voice was difficult to decipher.

_ Aeolus…. You… well?... Look sick… _

He grimaced at the patchy reception, digging his knuckles into his skull. What the hell? When did illness marr the connection between a Mega Man and their partner? No matter. No matter! It would resolve itself in due time, right? It would have to.

Model H suddenly whizzed past his nose, rushing like a green dart toward the door. They dove and shot through the doggy flap Aeolus had so thoughtfully installed for him before. He instantly regretted having ever installed it.

“You can’t leave me alo--!” 

Aeolus became consumed by a coughing fit, the kind that sapped away his strength completely.

 

+

 

Model H discovered the other Mega Men inside the training room, sitting haphazardly around their round table, chattering idly about some quest or another. Relief swept through his metal body-- they could help Aeolus! And speak to him. For some reason, their connection had been blocked or severed (and he wasn’t sure which one was worse). 

_ I need your help!  _ He yelled, crashing against the surface of the table.

“What the… Model H?” Thetis cried.

“Watch where you’re going! I’m eating, you pigeon!” Atlas snarled, dragging her meal closer to her chest.

_ You’re back! We were so worried!  _ Model P said, floating to his side.

_ Something’s wrong with Aeolus and I don’t know what and he can’t hear me,  _ Model H spat out in a rush. As the other Guardians crept closer, he began to feel steadier, more whole. If he could breathe, he would have sighed with relief. The only pressure he felt now was that of the humans’ eyes.

_ Slow your roll, Harps. You think your human’s sick? That’s not good…  _ Fefnir growled slightly, twisting around to address Atlas more directly. 

“Aeolus can’t be sick! We have a mission!” Atlas snapped, stabbing her fork into her plate of food. “Damn it!”

“It’s not like it’s his fault,” Thetis said imploringly. “Any of us can get sick at any time.”

At that, Siarnaq snorted. “ **Aeolus overworked himself again. That’s why he is ill. But do we tell the Master?** ”

They look at each other pensively. None of them had been ill or in poor health yet, so none of them knew if Master Albert would tolerate such a thing. A stiff silence slowly fell over them, suffocating their cozy round table.

_ Don’t tell Albert, the old codger. But one of us has to stay behind and care for Aeolus!  _ Leviathan spoke up finally, her first words of the altercation.  _ I think it should be me and Thetis.  _

_ What, you think Atlas and I can’t care for Aeolus ourselves? Huh? _ Fefnir burst out.

“Thetis, what the hell did Model L just say? I’ll kill her!” Atlas growled. 

“She suggested that, a) we don’t tell the Master, and b) she and I stay with Aeolus while the rest of us continue the mission,” Thetis said grudgingly. “And… I agree.”

The look Atlas bestowed upon the other Mega Men could have been legally registered as an assault weapon. Only Model L withstood it, staring unblinkingly into the young woman’s eyes.

“Fine! So Siarnaq and I are going to go apprehend the two brats while you get to lounge here?” Atlas snapped.

“It’s not lounging! Aeolus is  _ sick _ !”

 

+

 

Thetis knocked with gentle raps on Aeolus’ door, though Model H and Model L slid in under the doggy door. He waited until his partner told him that the room was unlocked to walk in, squinting into immediate darkness.

“Heard you were sick,” Thetis said sheepishly. “I’m here to help!”

He couldn’t tell where Aeolus was through the dark, but from somewhere, a voice croaked at him:

“Took you a long time…”

“Don’t shoot the messenger! Hey, mind if I turn on the light? The others are out on a mission, and I don’t have night vision like our resident ninja, so--”

“Whatever. Stop talking,” Aeolus griped.

_ Oof, tough crowd.  _ Thetis felt his way over the wall for a few moments, and slowly flicked on the lights. One perk of the castle, at least, was that the lights were adjustable. He adjusted them to a smoldering dim. He turned around to finally locate Aeolus, and screamed.

“You’re a devil!” 

“I’m not a devil!” Aeolus snapped.

He rose out from under his covers, face swathed in shadows because of the dim lighting and his angular facial features. His hair hung around his face in either clumps of fluff or greasy strips. Model H forced his way into his human’s lap, gem snuggling into his chest.

_ Can you hear me, Aeolus? _

_ Barely, Harpuia. That was scary. _

_ It really was. _

The bed creaked slightly as Thetis sat on the end, biting his lip. “So… is there anything I can do to help?”

“I’d like some water… I really haven’t been able to get up,” Aeolus said. “I’m not hungry. But I guess I need to eat.”

Thetis nodded thoughtfully. “Okay! We have some leftovers in the fridge. And I can get you water! You’ll be better in no time!”

 

+

 

Siarnaq loaded his partner’s pack with water bottles and protein snacks while she readied her body. His mind toiled through the logistics-- they were going to have to go shopping soon, particularly if Aeolus was still sick. At least funds weren’t a worry under their Majesty’s rule.

“ **You should reserve your strength** ,” he rasped. 

Metal clinked as Atlas jumped slightly, hissing. “I’m going to be fine.”

“ **We don’t know how long we’ll be gone.** ”

“It’ll be fine!”

A thin sheen of sweat had already built up on Atlas’ skin. He shook his head disapprovingly-- normally, he could appreciate her prowess, but such an exertion right now was frivolous. 

“ **It is Thetis that likes the yogurt bars, correct?** ”

“Why are you askin’ me?”

“ **Very well** ,” he sighed.

“...Yeah, it’s Thetis. I like the crunchy ones,” Atlas admitted.

_ They’re all crunchy!  _ Siarnaq could have screamed. 

He finished packing their bags-- leaving Thetis’ also packed, if the need arose-- and slid Model P out from his pocket. There was really no more time to waste, he thought. They had spent an extra hour trying to deploy. And they were down two men…

This was going to be rough.

 

 

  * __Locating the Silver Duo proves to be a Herculean feat for the pair. Three days of hard scouting, granola, and infighting later...__



 

 

Ashe cackled openly as for the third time in a row, she beat Grey in yet another shootout. The last target was still flying through the air as she stretched out her palm, fingers snapping, goading her partner.

“Pay up, Grey! Three on the money, now! I thought you were supposed to be a sharpshooter, huh?”

“Come on! One more time-- four on the money, Ashe! This time I’ll beat you!” Grey protested. He rolled a handful of crystals between his fingers, waving them tauntingly at Ashe before popping them into his pistol. “Come on. Moving targets this time?”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m still going to beat you.” 

Grey punched in the new order of targets while she finished speaking. Instead of a row of circular bull’s eyes, a cloud of buzzing droids begin to descend upon them, their rotors cutting the air like so many buzzsaws. 

Ashe squinted her eyes at the sight. That was a lot of targets, but they could handle it. Right? Right. She lifted her pistol and began to fire with precision, hissing when the spilled oil got too close.

“Hey, Grey, how many did you order?” she shouted.

“I thought I just asked for a light round!” he cried over the din,

Clearly not-- the cloud of droids was thick, bearing down on them faster than they could shoot. Oil and shrapnel was falling ever closer to their position, and Grey was creeping closer, as if he had some trick up his sleeve.

“Model A!  _ A-Trans! _ ” she cried suddenly. 

The transformation happened in a burst of light. She drew her two pistols and called on her energy reserves for a hail mary, the range becoming flushed with magenta light.

Giga Crush was an intensive, exhaustive attack that could punch holes into even the thickest armor simply because of the concentration of fire. She spun and flipped her pistols, jamming the triggers down, bullets spraying ceaselessly into the cloud. Droids high in the sky were not safe-- even they exploded, turning the ground slick with oil. 

_ Cool it, Ashe! We’re both gonna overheat! Release! _

She growled at the reminder, holding onto the last vestiges of Giga Crush until it forced itself off. Panting, she slid her pistols back into place and looked over to Grey.

“Are you alright?” 

“Um-- Ashe? We have company.”

She scoffed, then turned to look. Through the carnage, there stood two familiar silhouettes-- the other Mega Men. Their armors were smoking in places, warped from her hail of fire.  _ At least we have the drop on them… _

“H- Hi, guys!” she coughed.

 

+

 

Siarnaq grimaced as the bullets punched into his armor, and Atlas roared. How had they anticipated them? And they had gone to all that trouble of trying to overwhelm them-- dammit! It wasn’t fair!

“You’re coming with us, Ashe! Grey!” Atlas shouted. She readied her arm cannon, the muzzle blazing. 

“ **DESTRUCTION IS NOT OUR OPERATIVE,** ,” Siarnaq calls out. His voice is measured, clipped and robotic. “ **WE DO NOT WANT VIOLENCE** _. _ ” He cut his shielded gaze over to Atlas.

She kept her buster charged.

“We’re not going to come with you. Are you crazy?” Grey said, already lifting his pistol. Siarnaq quickly realized that that was their weakness. With only one Biometal between them….  _ They were nothing. _

_ Correct,  _ Model P hums.  _ Let Atlas and Fefnir handle Ashe. Grey is nothing without his teeth. _

Violence and not wanting it often going hand in hand, but they can never coexist. Ashe has already begun firing, bullets slinging at Atlas-- it seems that the Silver Duo were on the same wavelength. Siarnaq drew back and brought his energy together, forming one solid shuriken that was as large as his chest.

He slung it at Greye.

_ Are we trying to kill him?  _ Model P hisses.

_ Don’t fret. _

 

+

 

The shuriken was too fast for anyone to react. Grey dodged it, but barely, its teeth ripping into his vest. Siarnaq is quick to charge him, firing a spray of kunai at his prone form, the blades sinking indiscriminately into flesh and fabric. The boy was pinned.

Behind him, Ashe and Atlas were clashing, perfectly matched once again-- they had collided before, a while back, and Atlas had been soundly thrashed. Now was not the time to let her be beaten again.

“ **ATLAS!** ” Siarnaq roared. His voice flared and sputtered with the exertion, but his partner got the message, diving out of the way as yet another shuriken was launched. 

Ashe flipped into the air, impossibly reactive-- her form flashes and suddenly she’s wearing the skin of Fairy Leviathan, spear whirling. 

Atlas was agile, even for the bulk of her armor. She leaped after her opponent and brought her arm-cannon crashing down over Ashe’s metal skull. There was a moment of silence-- then the lady fell in a heap, spear point digging in one last fit to remain standing.

_ Wonderful execution,  _ Siarnaq thought.

 

+

 

Ashe bobbed against Atlas’ back, strapped there by a network of paracord. Her backpack was slung across her stomach, making her look like a small tank rather than a person. She glared daggers into the steel walls of the castle-- even with Model F, the weight was a pain in the ass. 

Grey hung, just as bound and gagged, over Siarnaq’s back. Some color was returning to his cheeks-- indicating that he was about to reboot soon. She sighed.

“So what are we doing with them? Bringing them back to the King?” 

Siarnaq did not reply. She continued to follow him through the halls until they doubled back to the training room.

“Hey, what are we doing?”

She watched in growing frustration and confusion as her partner ignored her, instead dumping Grey and his pack to the floor unceremoniously. He rolled the reploid onto his back, then finally gestured at Atlas.

“ **Our partner is sick. We will use these two for their knowledge** ,” Siarnaq stated. “ **Then we will bring them to the Master.** ”

Ashe hit the ground in a heap as Atlas released her with a tug. “That’s ridiculous! Thetis is caring for Aeolus, we don’t need their help!”

_ Yeah, repeat yourself, Atlas. Thetis is caring for Aeolus,  _ Fefnir enunciated slowly.

_ Shut up! _

“Fine! Okay. But why would they even help us?” she fired desperately.

“ _ Mmph! Mph! _ ” 

Siarnaq was quick to rip the gag from Greye’s jaws-- and none too kindly. How much had he heard?

“One of you guys is sick? For real?” Grey demanded. “You could have just asked, you know, instead of  _ kidnapping us _ !” 

“...What do you mean,  _ just asked? _ ”

“We don’t hate you-- or care about your silly little game. I’ve taken care of Ashe loads of times, so…” Grey wiggled in his bindings, looking up at the two of them imploringly. His eyes glinted green and flinty under the harsh light.

 

+

 

Aeolus cradled a bowl of hot chilli between his hands, periodically blowing at the steam, eyes focused and slightly glazed on his television screen. Thetis sat beside him, a mere face among a mountain of pillows and blankets. The green Mega Man’s nest had only swelled in the wake of his illness. 

“Feel any better?” Thetis asked for the umpteenth time.

And ‘no’ was the simple answer.

“Sure,” he said instead. 

Lights flashed and flared on his screen, and he quickly hushed. An exciting moment was occurring. Thetis kept his eyes on Aeolus, however, anxiously tugging on his lip. His partner was livelier than he had been all week, at least, so there had to be some merit to what he said… Right?

He sighed.

Then the door crashed open.

Aeolus jumped badly, his chilli spilling over the edge of the bowl and onto the sheets, causing him to curse and hack violently. Thetis ducked under the covers and slung the TV remote across the room-- it hit the wall with a solid  _ thwok _ . 

“What the hell is your  _ deal? _ ” Aeolus tried to say, his voice strained with coughing. His eyes widened as Grey padded into his room. “What the  _ hell? _ ” He gestured angrily at Grey’s small frame, growling.

“Oi, hey. I’m here to help. Look- civvy clothes,” the reploid-- enemy!-- said. He slowly approached the bedside table, laying a metal tray on top.

Thetis squeaked as soon as he peeked out from behind his covers. “What do you mean… help?”

“Greenie here is sick, right? Yeah.”

“My name… isn’t… Greenie,” Aeolus coughed.

“And Ashe isn’t concussed, and I wasn’t kidnapped,” Grey shot back. He had agreed to help but sympathy- or patience- wasn’t in his arsenal of personality traits.

Thetis swallowed. Some part of him had expected the other two to get beat mercilessly-- they had never really succeeded before, so this was… new. “Oh.”

 

+

 

Grey, after some fighting, had managed to wrangle Aeolus into lying down with a cool washcloth over his forehead. He tucked the blankets around his chest and made sure he was secure, shooing away the others when needed.

“You can’t bother him, or else you’ll get sick too,” Grey scolded. “And is…. Who’s watching Ashe, again?”

“Um, Siarnaq,” Thetis supplied. 

“I see. Okay,” Grey said flatly. What was he expecting? 

Hopefully both she and Model A were okay. Now that things had settled, his anxiety was beginning to growl, thorns pricking his chest.

He turned back to Aeolus. The older boy had fallen asleep, Model H nestled over his chest protectively. Grey gave his forehead a pat and turned away.

“He’s fine. Thetis, you should go. You guys do know how to prevent illness right?”

 

“Uh…”

 

“That’s what I thought…”

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first place raffle prize for rotiferwhispers! It was so much fun to write.


End file.
